Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
