porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize