My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
