I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
