I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
