I just saw a hot homeless man
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
