His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
