weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I lost the right to judge tonight
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
