Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
