it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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