i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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