are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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