If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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