thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
