One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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