I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
