woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
