How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
