How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
