We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
