my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Non-Jews are for practice
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
