lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have grass duct taped all over my body
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
