We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
