Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
