im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
