My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize