when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
