Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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