then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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