you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
