the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
