am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
A+ Viking dick
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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