wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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