Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
