I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
