Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize