You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
