I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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