I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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