Yo dont text me then not text me
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
