we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
