The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
