Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
