Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
