i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
