Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
