It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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