even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
