I love black thongs
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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