She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
