Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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