This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
