You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize