Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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