Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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