I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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