Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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