Say something about gay babies.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
