We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
