Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
