btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
ugly people sure do ruin things
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Shame - the story of my life.
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