I wanna bring you to show and tell
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
