Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
