Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
