next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
