So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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