Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
