So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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