how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
