OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
